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Sunday, 9 March 2014

woah what are YOU doing here

Okay so recently a worrying number of people from my school have started blogging. And because most normal people won't realise why this seemingly innocuous fact is currently weighing down on my mind I am going to explain why.

99.99% of the stuff I write on here is stuff I don't and probably couldn't say to my friends, family, or just about anyone I know in real life. I generally like to keep a fairly low profile at school and at home, and I will go to ridiculous measures to avoid conflict of any kind. Thus, this blog is the only place I can vent my bottled up feelings and opinions without annoying or offending anyone, and so I have told absolutely no one that I do this. Not even people I would consider close friends.

And like many other people, I have deluded myself into thinking that this blog is entirely private and secret despite the fact that literally anyone at all can look at it because it is, like, on the internet. I get people from halfway across the world reading some of the stuff I write and yet until recently I was incredibly confident that no one I know would ever happen upon this blog.

Although actually to be honest it was fairly unlikely that any of my friends would find this. Unless they suddenly got the urge to google 'whimsical procrastination' (and yes, I have googled my own blog/name to check how find-able it is/I am, and yes, I am quite neurotic) which I don't think anyone in the entire history of the internet has ever done, let alone anyone I know. Also, my CTRL-tab reflex is inhumanely fast, due to the amount of time I spend blogging at school, and having to quickly pretend to be looking at emails whenever anyone walks past.  

But now, with an ever growing number of links to other people's blogs appearing on my facebook newsfeed, I am suddenly starting to worry - what if someone does find this? What will happen? Will I be confronted by an angry mob when I go into school the next day wanting to burn me for witchcraft because I have mentioned feminism on here? Or will maybe a few people in my class be annoyed that I called them boring? Or both?!?! Will I have to move country and create a false identity? I don't know. I might just keep a low (internet) profile for a while, at least until everyone I know gets bored of blogging, or until I move out, whichever happens first.

6 comments:

  1. Ah I know how you feel. People at my school know about my blog but I try and keep the two separated at all times x

    http://www.lexilikes.com/

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    1. Yes! I have no idea what would happen if I let the two collide. x

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  2. ah it will be alright, way too many people know about my blog and I can't stop that but I don't think that'll happen to you. ugh I know what you mean though, they are completely separate worlds but then they're not because I post photos of my friends so I've had to make it less personal. but yeah keep doing what you're doing your blog is great x

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    1. Yes its so difficult like I feel weird talking about stuff I do with people I know on here when they don't even know about it haha. But thank you <3

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  3. I totally know what you mean. It's kind of weird to think that people completely separate from us can have access to stuff we put out there in trust.

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    1. Yes, its so scary how the internet warps our sense of what is private and what isn't

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