Tuesday, 29 April 2014


I am sat outside. I have been for about 20 minutes. It's odd because its late and cold and cloudy so I can't see the stars but I like it. Everything is still. Not in a dead kind of way, but in a sleeping kind of way, especially with the houselights reflecting on it. It's weird how moving a few feet outdoors can make you feel better. I felt irritated by everyone, at the moment, they're all too noisy and pushy about stuff like school work that doesn't really matter to me even though maybe it should. Outside is too loud and obnoxious in the daytime. But at night it's weirdly vulnerable and you become acutely aware of all the quietest noises and the tiniest movements. I think I will miss this when we move away. This patch of overgrown paving, which in all the ten years of living here we have never really managed to clear. I resent living here but it has been my home for the large majority of my life and it will be weird and kind of sad being somewhere different. I still can't see the stars. I might have to go in, my feet are getting cold.

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