Tuesday, 7 April 2015

home etc.

I got back home from easter about two weeks ago. I had forgotten many things about home. How small my room is. I spent a good 2 hours rearranging my room so I could fit all my stuff in it. What it's like being directly surrounded by people who know and care about you (a mutual pleasant avoidance now exists between me and my corridor neighbours, occasionally broken by unintentional kitchen/doorway encounters). How small and uninteresting my home town is. How it is to not live within a 2 minute radius of my closest friends, and not see them everyday. 

I have so far managed to mask the overwhelming feeling of 'what the hell am I meant to do here??' by choosing a bizarre and uncharacteristic kind of domesticity as my useful-but-not-really-useful activity to ignore revision for. Tidying, baking and sewing make me feel in control when everything else seems stale, confusing and frustratingly out of my control. 

***things I learnt from making way too many cakes***
crushed shreddies are not a suitable substitute for oats
the weird dark sugar you found in the cupboard makes everything taste of treacle
raw cake batter isn't dangerous/inadvisable to eat I should know I've basically eaten nothing else and so far haven't been ill..... (***frantically touches wood***)
no one ever. ever. ever doesn't appreciate the availability of biscuits. even if they're a bit burnt and you couldn't find all the ingredients. side note: this also sort of backfires and you often don't get to eat any yourself 
baking is kind of time consuming, i.e. a good way to spend the dead and unproductive hours between lunch and 4pm

*takes off incompetent-50s-housewife apron*

Sadly I haven't been able to put off the exam preparation. It's such a drag though because it doesn't even involve doing something new. You have to go back over everything you've done so far, which definitely feels counter progressive, and incredibly disheartening especially when you can't even remember all of it. 

another thing I've been cultivating : spotify playlisting. I find it difficult trying to keep track of all the music I currently like because it switches so often, but there are also songs which I will listen to again and again. anyway. here is the music I've been listening to over the easter break. Largely a taxonomy of girl band/female orientated music throughout the ages but also other good stuff. New Kendrick Lamar, Earl Sweatshirt, Kanye etc.
(also, you don't have to be impressed that my html-ignorant self managed to eMBED A SPOTIFY PLAYLIST ON MY BLOG but uh, whatever. i'm cool)

also this song which has been stuck in my head for the past weeks because a) its so damn catchy and cute but also a bit weird and b) I've had to listen to it repeatedly because QT has done no other music???? this is a very real problem.

Some visual things I've purposefully had lying around my desktop to pick me up when I've been feeling crushed and gloomy, and when revising has been making me feel like there is nothing else in the world but FACTS and DATES and VERB CONJUGATIONS

some general good advice from teen vogue on how to get over feeling burnt out

this picture made me laugh hysterically  for about 3 minutes when I first saw it. I don't really know why, but I bring it up periodically while I'm working to keep my spirits up 

some of my favourite song lyrics this month to help keep my emotions circulating

Pictures from my most recent trip to London, which included my first ever trip to the natural history museum because apparently most people go there at some point in their childhood and I never had, and also stuffed animals are fascinating. Me and my friend also spent hours in the V&A. I never realised how huge it was before, or that the entire top floor is dedicated to ceramics. 

Anyway. I've only got a week left now until I go back, and my friends are finally back so I can keep myself busy trying to see all of them/reorganising my life at home before I leave again. This is good. I really hate waiting around. 


  1. Louis Theroux's face is one of my favourite things ever.

    In a totally non-creepy way.

    1. totally non creepy. its a good face.

  2. Hey QT has totally been my second semester anthem! I swear it even worms its way into my dreams most nights.

  3. i'm so ready to listen to your playlist, you have so many A1 artists in it. Baking's great, it brings about an overwhelming sense of satisfaction when you put together something edible, although i'm not very great at it. good luck with studying and exams and stuff! x

    1. yay thank you! yeah most of my baking is kind of 'improvised' (ie. kind of suspicious) but it makes me feel so competent lol.

  4. No why has QT not released more music? :( And I love Louis Theroux's face OMG I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME. :) xoxo

    1. i have no idea but its so distressing!! i feel i should start a theroux-face fan club damn

  5. I loved reading this post (and your blog again yay!) and can totally identify with the studying thing I am dying right now

    [also i'm assuming that you go to oxbridge from your posts, so congrats! although i may be totally wrong in which case oopsie, sorry. also if you do go to oxbridge, that college looks oddly familiar and i may actually be ending up in the same place next year provided i meet my grades]

    1. aw thanks! hah yeah you're right, and wow!!! thats so cool, good luck with your exams then!

    2. thank you! and oh wow that's amazing agh- i spent the last five minutes trying to think of a really covert way to ask if it's the college i think it is but yeah i shall just go with this- is the mascot a goat?

    3. ah thats actually a different college to mine!! but yes! there is one with a goat mascot haha